Top Six

19 05 2009

David Letterman sucks. His “Top Ten” lists aren’t even funny ninety-nine times out of ten. Here’s where I namedrop Conan, because he’s awesome, but he’s not known for a Top Ten list, therefore, irrelevant to the scenario.

So, since I like the number six and I have a few minutes to kill, I’ll try to list my top six of just about everything.

 

[Updated 5-19]

 

EARLY CONQUERORS:

  1. Gaius Julius Caesar – Roman Dictator (Conquered France and Egypt)
  2. Alexander the Great (What didn’t he conquer?)
  3. Justinian – Byzantine Emperor (Re-conquered the Western Roman Empire)
  4. Attila – Khan of the Huns (Conquered most of Central Europe)
  5. Charlemagne – Holy Roman Emperor, King of France (Conquered Italy, Germany)
  6. Joshua - Judge of the Israelites (Conquered the Canaanites)

LATER CONQUERORS:

  1. Napoleon I - Emperor of France, King of Italy (Conquered most of Europe)
  2. Genghis Khan – Mongol Khan (Conquered most of Asia)
  3. Adolf Hitler – Führer of Germany (Conquered most of Europe)
  4. Joseph Stalin - Soviet Dictator (Conquered most of Central and Eastern Europe)
  5. Timur – Timurid Emperor (Conquered most of Western and Central Asia)
  6. Mehmed II - Ottoman Emperor (Conquered Constantinople and the Balkans)

AMERICAN PRESIDENTS:

  1. Nixon (1969-74) Rep.
  2. Reagan (1981-89) Rep.
  3. T. Roosevelt (1901-09) Rep. / Prog.
  4. Lincoln (1861-65) Rep. / Nat. Union
  5. Kennedy (1961-63) Dem.
  6. Truman (1945-53) Dem.

CARTOON TELEVISION SERIES:

  1. South Park
  2. Rocko’s Modern Life
  3. Doug
  4. Celebrity Deathmatch 
  5. Dexter’s Laboratory
  6. Beast Wars: Transformers

TALK SHOWS:

  1. Tough Crowd w/ Colin Quinn
  2. Red Eye w/ Greg Gutfeld
  3. The Daily Show w/ Jon Stewart
  4. The O’Reilly Factor
  5. Late Night w/ Conan O’Brien
  6. Space Ghost Coast 2 Coast

LIVE ACTION TELEVISION SERIES:

  1. All in the Family
  2. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
  3. Married… With Children
  4. Law & Order
  5. House
  6. The Wonder Years

 MOVIES:

  1. The Godfather [Pt. 1] (1972)
  2. Apocalypse Now (1979)
  3. The Godfather [Pt. 2] (1974)
  4. My Cousin Vinny (1992)
  5. Gladiator (2000)
  6. Face/Off (1997)

DESKTOP/PC VIDEO GAMES:

  1. Quake II
  2. Diablo II
  3. Quake III Arena
  4. 10Six/Project Visitor
  5. Europa Universalis II
  6. Crusader Kings

CONSOLE/HANDHELD VIDEO GAMES:

  1. Super Mario RPG
  2. Dragon Warrior
  3. Super Mario Bros. 3
  4. Final Fantasy VII
  5. Super Mario Bros.
  6. Pokémon Red

VIDEO GAME CONSOLES:

  1. Nintendo Entertainment System/Famicom
  2. Super NES/Super Famicom
  3. Sony PlayStation
  4. Xbox 360
  5. Nintendo 64
  6. Sega Genesis/Mega Drive

AUTHORS:

  1. Dr. Seuss (various)
  2. Ayn Rand (Atlas Shrugged, The Fountainhead)
  3. Niccolò Machiavelli (Il Principe, The Art of War)
  4. Charles Dickens (Great Expectations, A Christmas Carol)
  5. Harry Turtledove (various)
  6. Tom Clancy (various)

COMPOSERS:

  1. Richard Wagner
  2. Frederic Chopin
  3. Giuseppe Verdi
  4. Ludwig van Beethoven
  5. Pyotr Tchaikovsky
  6. Goachino Rossini

BANDS:

  1. Guns N’ Roses (hard rock / glam metal / industrial)
  2. Oasis (britpop)
  3. Rammstein (industrial)
  4. Metallica (thrash/heavy metal)
  5. Nine Inch Nails (industrial)
  6. Marilyn Manson (industrial)

ALBUMS:

  1. Appetite for Destruction [Guns N' Roses] (1987)
  2. (What’s the Story) Morning Glory [Oasis] (1995)
  3. Thriller [Michael Jackson] (1982)
  4. Antichrist Superstar [Marilyn Manson] (1986)
  5. The Marshall Mathers LP [Eminem]  (2000)
  6. The Wall [Pink Floyd] (1979)

SINGERS (Male):

  1. Axl Rose
  2. Frank Sinatra
  3. Luciano Pavarotti
  4. James Hetfield
  5. Ozzy Osbourne
  6. Till Lindemann

SINGERS (Female):

  1. Kelly Clarkson
  2. Hayley Williams
  3. Carrie Underwood
  4. Lady GaGa
  5. Mandy Moore
  6. Lily Allen

GUITARISTS:

  1. Jimi Hendrix
  2. Zakk Wylde
  3. Jimmy Page
  4. Buckethead
  5. Slash
  6. Frank Zappa

PRIORITIES:

  1. God/religion
  2. Family
  3. United States
  4. Job
  5. Friends
  6. Sicily

CITIES:

  1. Brooklyn, New York
  2. Manhattan, New York
  3. Palermo, Sicily
  4. Boston, Massachusetts
  5. Toronto, Ontario
  6. Catania, Sicily

FOREIGN COUNTRIES:

  1. Italy
  2. Ireland
  3. Germany
  4. Japan
  5. South Korea
  6. United Kingdom

SPORTS:

  1. Baseball
  2. Football (American)
  3. Ice Hockey
  4. Football (Soccer)
  5. Bowling
  6. Boxing

FOODSTUFFS:

  1. Pizza
  2. Cheeseburgers
  3. Pasta
  4. Steak
  5. Fish
  6. Cereal

BEVERAGES:

  1. Tea (iced)
  2. Water (vitamin)
  3. Tea (hot)
  4. Vodka
  5. Soda
  6. Tomato Juice

HAIR COLORS:

  1. Dark Brown
  2. Black
  3. Light Brown
  4. Auburn
  5. Red
  6. Blonde

SKIN TONES:

  1. Olive/Mediterranean
  2. Pale/Central European
  3. Yellowish/Oriental
  4. Very Pale/Northern European
  5. Light Brown/Hispanic/Native
  6. Dark Brown/Black/Indian

CAREERS:

  1. Politician
  2. Musician
  3. Athlete
  4. Diplomat
  5. Author
  6. Historian

ANIMALS:

  1. Zebras
  2. Penguins
  3. Dinosaurs
  4. Dogs
  5. Giraffes
  6. Hippopotomi

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